It has been a couple of days since I found out my mom has rectal cancer. It sort of has not been discussed around here until we know if it spread to other areas as we suspect. I am going through alot of emotions. Fear, anger, hope and stress. In life we will all lose our parents sometime throughout our lives. I chose to stay with my mom so she wouldn't be alone and it seemed that my life has been helping her and forgetting myself. I guess I sort of had a "martyr syndrome" for these passed years. I don't regret it though.
If it hadn't been so close to my sister's death maybe I could deal properly with this. It just seemed to take all my energy to get over that and all the bullshit that went with it. Obviously, it took it's toll on my mom. When my mom had bladder cancer it was right after my father had died. I am not sure if cancer is a trigger to stress but in my mom's case, it seems to be. It is almost as if she wants to make sure that she will not see another child die in her lifetime.
There is always hope. She might even live another couple of years. For the grace of God, we don't know the future.
What has been almost as troubling is the shabby treatment of my work. I had bronchitis a few weeks back and the doctor told me I should take a week off because it could turn into pneumonia. I gave a doctor's note. They didn't believe it called my doctor. Yelled at me for not being respectful to the company. I was only "Thinking of Myself" I had to take my mom to the doctor on Friday and instead of saying "I hope your mom is ok" He said "I hope you will be in shape next week" When I came to work Saturday, he discussed how I should be at work. Forget my troubles at home. A fellow collegue told me that he said "As a human I have sympathy but as a manager I am cold. Why did it happen now? and was angry that I might take sometime off" Since I am not a robot, I went to the union. He suggested that I go to the doctor and get a note for a burnout. He said I had enough to deal with that I don't need the bullshit that is happening there. He said if they go after you. They will file a grievance for harrassment. Will go to the human rights and do anything. We are not robots. He said this was NOT right.
I think it just stressed me even more going to work. It also doesn't help that I hate my job and that I feel unappreciated.

I think I will need a very LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG vacation after this is over.

My sister passed away peacefully early this morning.
I have lots of emotions right now. She is with my dad now.
At Peace.

The doctors have given my sister 24-48 hours to live. She has pneumonia. She wanted to live until Christmas and bless her heart she did.
She has been suffering and has been on morphine for awhile. She spoke to my mom and me christmas day, we said Goodbye and I love you.
At this point, I think she will be in a better place. There is no quality of life. She can rest in peace and suffer no more.

My mom has talked to my sister and she is going to Edmonton to see her.

The feud is over.